Okay okay, I know. The government pays for a lot of stuff, but listen! I've got an answer; subscription services! So you have a subscription service for healthcare, a subscription service for police, a subscription service for education, a subscription service for defense from foreign invasion, etc.

Okay now I know what you're thinking; that's a lot of subscription services. Never fear, because I've thought of that too! How about a company that gives money to the services and you just pay that company? Just one payment! So simple! Okay okay, I know what you're thinking. All of this stuff is expensive, and what if some people can't pay? Do we just let their house burn down, or their children suffer from treatable conditions? Well, I've taken care of that, too. You're welcome.

Related: Do we need government?

How about we have a system where you pay the company only a percentage of what you earn? That way, everyone pays what they can and the more wealthy subscribers leverage the less wealthy subscribers. It's so simple! See? We don't need a silly government! Just get a company that takes a portion of your money and provides essential services in.....

Oh wait. Shit.

Hold on.