I think it's astounding how people invent things. Look at things like the lightbulb or the steam engine. Works of genius. Then again, we aren't here to talk about those things, are we? I want to talk about; prehistoric man.

One day, in primary (elementary) school, some dumbass teacher tried to convince us that Boxing Day was invented when cavemen put things in boxes and gave them to each-other. I was suspicious ("isn't that called Christmas?") but I didn't put my hand up because its not easy being the only one with your hand up, and kids are notorious for only doing things that are easy. Some other teacher tried to convince me that God is real - while teaching in a public school, no less - but that's neither here nor there.

Now that I've created the perfect intro, lets segue into what I really want to talk about; things being discovered and/or invented by cavemen. Fire was obviously discovered when a bolt of lightning struck a tree and set it alight. Duh, but how did primitive man figure out how to create his own fire?

I submit that some bumbling idiot (let's call him Steve) was carrying a few stones around one day when, being the fool that he is, he drops them. These stones fall onto some other stones (or clash with each-other) and create sparks which land on some nearby kindling (only by function, not intention), and sets it alight. Steve sees what has happened and re-creates it in front of his friends, Mark and John. There. Fire.

Wow. This turned out to make much more sense than I had anticipated. Hurray for me.