Stoski’s Ultimate Movies Rating Guide is, slowly but surely, growing. Out of the hundred plus movies already on the list, most are in the 2.5 to 3.5 out of 5 range. That’s hardly a coincidence. Most movies that are made hardly deserve anything more, and since I’m representative if a general movie goer more than a “must get 85 or above on Rotten Tomatoes” snob, that explains the higher end of the curve. There are very few movies lower than 2.5 out of 5 on the list because, frankly, a movie only belongs on this list if I could stand to sit through it.

Having said that, here are a few things that might have flown past your radar.

Downsizing (2017)

This movie’s trailer sold it as a fun adventure following Matt Damon in his wacky, upbeat struggle to adjust to a “smaller” lifestyle.

What we got instead was not at all fun or light-heated. It was depressing and tedious, and apart from a few full-sized items here and there, you’d be forgiven for forgetting about the ‘small people’ gimmick entirely.

The movie is good at times but it seems that it would not have even been on the radar if not for the “downsized” gimmick. Unless you adore Matt Damon, this movie is a hard pass. What a waste of time.

I want the movie that the trailer sold to us.

2/5

Daddy’s Home 2 (2017)

I thoroughly enjoyed the first movie, and that ending was all I needed to convince me to see the sequel. Fuggen… John Cena! This movie, however, didn’t feature much John Cena. It was also just more of the same, which sounds like a good thing, given the first movie. Well, I assure you that it is not. Yet another disappointment.

Have a look if you’re curious, but otherwise, don’t waste your time.

2.5/5

Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018)

According to Wikipedia, this is the sixth Mission: Impossible movie. I believe it, but god damn does it feel like the sixteenth. This is standard fare. Nothing special going on here. Like, at all. There’s a fake-out at the end that works until about half-way through the fake-out, and a bomb that needs diffusing, and of course a few double crosses. You’ll see them coming if you haven’t already switched off by minute 15. No promises. If you like turning your brain off and seeing people do stuff, you could do better, but Generic Action Movie #5973 is right up your alley.

The real shame here is that Tom Cruise is capable of so much more. He was in A Few Good Men and Edge of Tomorrow; both fantastic movies that you should go and watch right now. To see him in this trite is insulting.