Hit up my ultimate movie rating guide for a ranked list of our planet’s films, best to worst.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Watching this movie on January 1, 2020, I know I got my movie-watching decade off to a great start. Man what a great film. It was released almost thirty years ago but I’ll extend the courtesy of a spoiler-free viewing to those who haven’t seen it, given it took me so long to watch it myself.

Absolutely one of the movies to watch before you die, if you care at all about film. A story of wit, perseverance, and the human spirit, this is an all-time classic that won’t be touched by the hands of time for a long while to come. With no gimmicks and no-nonsense, Shawshank becomes one of those films that are just about people - people, and the situations in which they find themselves. Don’t confuse this movie with some pedestrian Oscar-bait bullshit, however. Genuine talent, thoughtful shots, and top-shelf writing are all on display here.

4/5

Like a simple rotisserie chicken, the plot itself is not spectacular, but is executed incredibly well. The Shawshank Redemption belongs right up there with Good Will Hunting and A Few Good Men. Definitely in my list of the top ten films of all time. 100% worth watching.

The Anomaly (2014)

The synopsis that I first saw for this movie read "a former soldier is taken captive and awakens in the back of a van where he learns that he only has a few moments to figure out how he got there". Snore! That sounds like an okay plot for your basic action flick, but that, this is not. It’s a thinking man’s action movie. A man does indeed wake up in a van and” “only has a few moments to figure out how he got there” but it doesn’t stop there.

For a lot of the first act, the audience is just as confused as the protagonist, with information purposefully kept from us as well as the people on screen, with just enough clues given as to deduce the situation, for the very astute and observant. As more information is given, a simultaneous feeling of relief and intrigue makes you want to learn more about this man and the situation imposed on him.

Also, Luke Hemsworth. *Swoon*

4/5

Crawl (2019)

A popcorn disaster/monster movie from beginning to end, but don’t discount it for that alone. Crawl has everything that a movie like this ought to; a safe “everything is reletively safe and good” opening, a stubborn family member who doesn’t want to leave despite the danger, excellent paying, a great kill-cam, and characters doing things that make you want to yell at the screen. It isn’t even the “I as an audience member knows things that the characters couldn’t possibly know but I’ll yell anyway” kind of yelling. The characters make genuine mistakes at times, which is, you know, good. It gives you a reason to yell at the screen while not looking like a dickhead because, come-on, the character has access to the same information as the audience, and she does that? I could have done better!

This movie is done straight. No memes, no jokes, just two people and a dog fighting for their lives against multiple killer alligators (as opposed to non-killer alligators?). Despite this, it’s quite light and easy to watch. If you’re in the mood for a wholesome movie about alligators ripping people to shreds - multiple people die horribly in this movie - then Crawl is for you.